North, South, East, West – Which Way Is The Best ?

The pack assembled at the lovely playground in the new Bushmead development, complete with balloons left by a group of party animals.The Hare, Free Beer, was missing as she had to re-set the trail due to some precipitation that had washed the flour away ! She had set it the day before but the heavens opened up and rained on her parade !
Nevertheless, she left good instructions with Skimpy (and Pink Bits) to send everyone off in a North-Easterly direction. WELL, ….. GPS (living up to his name) was hopelessly going the wrong way as was the rest of the pack ….blindly going in an … err … um …. other direction ??? Hands up – who can tell the points of a compass ….. Not our lot it seems ….. ! It did rain on the run but not too much and it was very pleasant meandering on level, wide paths recently constructed by the developers. Looks like its a place well worth revisiting.
Still, everyone ran or walked in the opposite direction to what had been planned but somehow managed to get back to the start.
Of course, in the circle, now that the RA was back, the there were many fines but particularly for Hashers going through DISPLAY HOMES ???? even though the trail did not point them in that direction ….
After we had sung the Hash song with gusto, we settled down to a tasty Hash Nosh feed. Thanks “Light My Fire”
Pink Bits x

The Bramble-iscious Run ! – or – What Time Does The 4pm Run Start ?

It was a small pack that gathered at the leafy car park. SNB and his off-sider Crusher, had set about giving arm waving instructions with runners and walkers on the same trail for a while, then splitting away. A drink stop was on the menu, so off we went. Most of the walkers found trail but some got a bit mixed up following false trails numerous times. This resulted in wild meanderings (with Leapfrog & no sense of direction !) and a late arrival at the drink stop …. but what an achievement to arrive virtually with the runners.
It seems that there was a special section of run designed deviously by the Hares just for Franga !The title says it all …..!
In the circle, Hash Splash was seriously charged straight off …what a stuff up … he was arriving for 5pm !
The RA has been in Melbourne doing some special communing with druids and other weirdo’s so her poor spouse got to hold court this week (again – he was not prepared ??? What is the RA teaching her lot ???)
We had nothing much else happening and the circle closed with a fine rendition of the club song !
On- On
Pink Bits x

The Filthy, Dirty, Dusty Mile Run …

Well, that only actually applied to the arrival track ! Those who had recently spent good money having car washes, were shaking heads !
The Hare, Skippy, had us in the circle – quick smart – despite a few late arrivals. Runners and walkers started off in the same direction, soon veering apart. It was a lovely walk, with just the sound of birds twittering, Skimpy and Free Beer having a mini-domestic and the wind in the trees. Bliss …
All was well with the world except it was a down> down > down trail which meant up > up > up later, so a few walkers made a Hash executive decision and turned back. No sooner had they returned, than rest of the walkers & the runners turned up so, not an overly long run due to darkness coming in sooner ! (& no drink stop either ???)
In the circle, as the RA was again (???) absent without a note, SNB, being a relative, had the job foisted on him. He was mild mannered as he said it was a surprise and he wasn’t prepared (as if …) Skippy had to down-down for no drink stop, dreadful drive to venue and other stuff, all well deserved …
A visitor (new Hasher) Hubert was inducted into Hill Hash and, apparently, will come again !!!
On On
Pink Bits x

The Guildford 3.0 RUN

Seems some Hashers (no names …!) were still looking for the green attire for this run ! Made us late – Great start …
So, the Hare, Sheep Shunter, had devised a run that reminded him of of his native country … NZ … famous for “slippages” You had to know this …
Apparently there was a dodgy bit of trail near the river that could, at any time, slip away with the Hashers on it ! (didn’t)
Some-one spent far too much time having fun in playgrounds and eating ice-cream …who was that ? No, not one of the kids …!!
The drink stop was magnificent …. Margaritas, dancing girls, swaying maidens with coconuts and flowing palm trees ! Dripper … eat your heart out !
NO … WAIT … it was just the delirium from the run …..
Everyone got back to the start and congratulated no-one on a great run !
The circle went on for a mammoth 2 hours with the GM ranting on about sexy cactus plants and playing a gig at the ARENA with Elton John (I ask you …as if …)
The RA was more subdued, dishing out some average charges for nothing in particular BUT … Taa Daa … Little Weed managed to get her 300 badge (get a life & a car !?) Also, Franga was given a round of applause for being such an athlete (GPS kicked him in the shins so that stopped him for a while !) It was complete mayhem … if you missed it … do join us …we have a good time !
Pink Bits xxx

To Be Sure … To Be Sure ! … OR …. The IRISH Run !

A hearty bunch of Hashers assembled in the park in Mt Helena attired (mostly) in green to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. (or any excuse to dress up)
The Hare’s, Pink Bits and Dripper, set the runners and walkers off in opposite directions with the promise of a drink stop. It was going to be good !
Walkers were treated to a leisurely stroll around the more bushy trails finally arriving at the drink stop ….. AT THE SAME TIME AS THE RUNNERS ….
Yet another stunningly well choreographed run by the Hares ! Everyone enjoyed the Irish tipple and headed back for the circle.
As the RA was back from her “secret RA’s business” – she was keen to dole out some charges on a few, and inflict Birthday honours on White Pointer.
After that it was on-on with the BBQ and some black stuff to drink !
Another great Irish event by Hills Hash !
On- On
Pink Bits xxx

What Could Possibly Go Wrong ?

The Hare, GPS, was a little disappointed this week as there were only 3 runners in the pack. After all, he had gone all out to set a substantial run (mainly to get at Franger !)
Still, putting on a brave face (with bottom lip quivering …) he expanded the virtues of the run – omitting to mention the worst hills in the area were at the beginning !
It was up and up with even more ups ! The walkers, spearheaded by Baldrick,(FRB) were charging ahead when GPS asked if they were on trail …he was just checking … but the reply was “are we on trail ?” Funny that … There were many instances of walkers talking too much and not paying attention. (or blindly following Baldrick who was gleefully – on purpose veering all over the show)
Once the walkers were on a more even (read “flat”) track, it was plain sailing back to the start.
There was no sign of the runners for quite some time and this was somewhat perturbing for GPS – after all his efforts could they be lost …..? Things were taking a significant turn for the worst …. GPS was worried now – things were going wrong – … you could tell … he was having splash and grimacing – He moaned that it would be his job to go and search for the missing runners.
Then, suddenly, ….. they swooped in together, like a bunch of galah’s … a bit hot and bothered but beaming …It was voted a good run ! (You missed it Franger !)
As the RA was still missing, (deep in conference with “important” persons) the stand-in took charge – well not really – but dished out all sorts of silly down-downs ! Skippy awarded himself his 900th run badge (get a life) and a couple of little (25 & 50) feet were presented. Can’t recall much else but its getting darker now so will be an earlier start soon !
WEAR GREEN next week for St Patrick’s Day – BYO meat for BBQ – salads provided.
P B 🙂


The enthusiastic pack gathered at the picturesque Coal Dam in Woodbridge …. White Pointer, the Hare, set us off with vague instructions ….
Trail was actually well marked, for walkers at least, however, there were a couple of complete botch-ups at some intersections ! We got to see some really lovely homes in this area … surprising ! The Hare actually was shepherding us around, which helped keep us on trail. Not sure about the runners … just know it was about 8 km’s !
As the drink stop was in White Pointers bag, (or so we thought !) we weren’t sure just exactly it would be … but, no fear, it was a Trillion miles away ! Of course, he hoped the runners and walkers would converge at the same time – as we did… HOWEVER, the pack did not expect such warm welcoming beverages …..
In the circle, of course, there was a charge for an all together far too warm welcome … it was a hot day after all ! Despite that we forgave the Hare for awkward hills (yes in Woodbridge) – mud (where a raging torrent will be in winter) and slight confusion.
It was a good run and after, some of us went to a local establishment for a very good meal !
On- On
Pink Bits x

G-gggggg U-uuuuu N-nnnnnn J-jjjjjjj I- iiiiiiiii N-nnnnnn Run !

The fun started on this week’s run by just arriving ! The corrugations were quite pronounced on the 1 km drive up to the parking area. We were surrounded by mountain bikers who watched in wonder as to what sort of riders we were … AIR MOUNTAIN RIDERS i say !
We were sent on our way by the Hare Skippy, with only a few directions but the promise of a well marked run/ walk.& a drink stop !
This all proved true, and to top it all the majority of the walk was on a really shady track admittedly going downhill for a long way. As usual, where there is a down there must be an up ! … and so after a steep climb, we arrived at the drink stop. Good job we had a break as there was more up to go which got fairly arduous towards the end – Runners even stopped running (except Franger who never gives up on up)
Thankfully, it was not too hot a day and we were not too puffed out ! We emerged back at the start for more refreshment
The RA was away communing with other RA’s discussing tactics for malevolent charges, so she had appointed Scooby Doo as a stand-in !
He did a good job too, holding his own and asserting his power when needed. He would have liked ice …. but we didn’t let him use it ! (collective power) After the usual down-downs had been consumed, we sang our hearts out with the club song and departed for another go at the corrugations ! Some of us had a close shave by a mob of roo’s bounding across our bonnets, off into the bush !
Pink Bits x

Franger’s Fabulous Fancy *Feet* … !

The Hare was quite stressed before  the run as he was trying to work out how to satisfy runners and walkers with a drink stop. Alas, as he is but one man (yes – really …) and there were 2 distinct trails, it was a big ask.
Nevertheless, after his chalk talk (man of few words) he was seen carrying a jolly heavy (he ‘aint heavy, he’s my drink stop !) back-pack to cater to all. I actually feel he was just wanting to carry a heavy pack for training purposes.
So we all set off in the same direction, but with a bit of directing, the Hare managed to give the walkers an official short-cut whilst the runners did their first 3 Km loop !
This set the scene for the run and as the runners ran off into the distance, the walkers promenaded around and over a lovely creek with a few crossing challenges, but oh ! … so shady and pleasant. Did I say L O N G … ? …well it was longish.
Eventually, walkers regrouped at the start (with splash keys, I might add) Good job we could get refreshments as it was a L  O  N  G  E  R wait for runners. Quite a while after we had returned, the first of the runners came in to view .. Is that you PM ? Not normally a front running B … but he had given up … Then slowly the rest of the pack came back, a little puffed but nevertheless, satisfied by the gallant Hare ! It had been a good 8 Km run and rated as great by most !
Once again the drink -stop controversy came up with Franger saying he waited for the walkers but had to go on to catch up with runners (some favouritism suspected – he was charged) Then, he was charged again for having set the run with a view to the following day and his *Masters of the Universe – West Coast Hash* The cheek of it – well deserved charge we thought. A few other charges were awarded then the circle concluded, the song was sung & the splash flowed on a very pleasant evening.
We ended the night with a great Hash Nosh prepared by our super Light-My-Fire,with plenty of take-home meals as well.
On On
Pink Bits xxx

Out Of Africa … Or Beyond !

Delightful spot for a Hash run on a Sunday afternoon.We assembled in the lovely park/playground on the banks of the Swan. The Hare, Free Beer, was keen to get the pack off but warned us that her off-sider, Skimpy, may not remember where he was meant to set up the drink stop !
Still, we had a well marked trail that could have followed the river but, instead, meandered its way up the one hill in Woodbridge, through stubbly grass that left spiky bits in your socks, while making you sprain your ankles in the invisible ruts here and there ! The runners were having some trials and tribulations finding trail but the Hare kept a sharp lookout for them so she didn’t lose them.
Looking around, I was instantly reminded of the African landscape, expecting to come across a pride of lions, or a herd of antelopes majestically sweeping across the plains, but instead we came across Skimpy – (bitter disappointment) although this was at the drink stop ! (Yes … he found it !) Refreshing ourselves with juniper juice and a tonic, we headed back to the start, this time along the river. Very nice …
In the circle, we had charges administered by the RA for the usual sins but the Hare got an accolade for managing to set the run in a proper Hash manner, UNHINDERED by Skimpy !
It was a good end to the Hash run ….
P B x

By the way, just a reminder that it is the annual Valentine’s Day LINGERIE run this week and Franger is looking forward to it … Wear something alluring or Leapfrog will kit you out in some crazy number you may regret !