The S.W.A.T. Team !

Warm it was … flies in abundance … however, the Hills Hash were prepared (by Made Muffin actually with a fly-swat and fluids !)
In true Hills fashion, there were no hills or water or flies ! Just a really great walk (set by MM) – run (set by Skippy) In fact, it was so good that it ACTUALLY FAZED FRANGA !
Walkers were encouraged on a trail of *W’s* that were so clear and concise that anyone could follow … runners were challenged with a trail of flour dots that were also clear and concise unless you missed some ! Needless to say, we all managed to get to the drink stop …. ALL !
Then a short hop, skip and a few kilometres had us back On – Home …
when I say short … I mean it was a L O N G run and walk …. one of those marathon things that you reminisce on in future moments of clarity !
Needless to say (but I will) we had quite a few Down-downs and charges (I think even GPS was charged and he wasn’t even present.)
*NOTE* – No Lame-duck awards this week ! Good job eh … Scooby ?
Some snacks and chit-chat later a few of us went to the Parky Pub (or a small foodie/bar place nearby ???) In the Parky we met up with no one special … only Two-Stroke ! Much more chat and a few refreshing beverages too !
On – On
Pink Bits

Kalamunda Circuit Challenge

Late on Sunday the Hills hash invaded the space of the mountain bikers for a run from the Kalamunda circuit. We knew it was going to be a challenge when instructions from the hares went On and On. There was some drivel about being lost and no markings and the walkers were to what… walk slowly and not trip on the rocks???? It proved to be quite a good trail, very scenic, relatively flat with no serious mountain bike encounters and no camel encounters. The rocks were well obstacles to be overcome.  A very enjoyable drink stop….for those who stopped instead on rushing On Home. The circle was a medley of….well I forgot! Oh yes the naming of a recent new addition to the walkers pack now called Choir Girl. On On till next week

P. Merah


STOP PRESS ….. P M Racks Up 300 Runs ! (Get A Life)

The Hare, P M set this run which coincided with his 300th run. Hashers gathered in the depths of J F Nat. Park which was difficult to find for a few ! However, once we had all signed on and calmed down as Splash had arrived, the Hare gave some instructions and set us on our way.  It was somewhat of a false start as the gravel up-slope was a challenge for a number of the pack. (noticeably Pink Bits who just gave up and stuck to the perfectly good road)
Anyway, the runners took off followed by walkers who then veered off on their own trail. Always a joy traversing through the National Park, we all had encounters with roos, joeys and numerous wildflowers. We had been warned that there may be a payment required to enter the park but that was not for people on foot. The drink stop was by the picturesque lake and enjoyed by everyone (who made it there)
Some walkers were back sooner than others, followed by the huffing and puffing runners. In fact, Franga was so overcome by the run that he sped past us and carried on to do it again ! NO …    wait ……. he just needed to use his phone and as the signal was not great where we were he sought higher ground !
In the circle the RA gave a down down to the Hare for his mammoth run and a few other charges. Of note was the helpful effort of Pink Bits that went horribly wrong … she picked up the foot (to give to next week’s Hare) thereby completely stuffing up the directions for Hash Nosh (Light my Fire) Sheep Shunter stated that she is a little navigationaly challenged so he had to go and look for her. SORRY ….. ?
At the conclusion of the circle we did a fine rendition of the club song … we are improving … then enjoyed a great meal provided by Hash Nosh.
Pink Bits x

Sand Saga ….. or ….. The Tale of Little Big Foot !

The Hare felt it was important  to recognise the 11th of the 11th so we were directed off into the distance with warnings of sand, trenches and (maybe) danger. (Hashing is dangerous !)
So, like Frank Herbert’s DUNE Trilogy,, we were like giant sand worms, rolling about trying not to feel the pain, going in and out and up and down ! Running on sand was, so I am told by the brave runners, very hard going on the calves etc. but as a drink stop was arranged in the trenches, we were all spurned on to keep going.
Walkers soon discovered that we had a perfectly good road parallel to the sand torture trail but did we decide to veer off … no way ….. Hashers through and through ! Anyway, the rest of the troops arrived at the drink stop, red faced and complaining about the sand (again) so refreshed, we all set off back to the start.
Circle was called quickly as for once no-one was lost ! The Hare got a down-down but with accolades of a great run ! Not sadly for his positioning of the foot to indicate where the run was … actually, in the mode of war, he did good as he confused the enemy (& Skippy)
Despite the sand, this was one of those bush areas full of wildflowers enjoyed by all. Can’t remember any blood loss so no lame duck and not a huge number of charges all round.However there was a little moment, forever etched in our memories when El Keeno (who should have known better) questioned why our orange foot had 2 feet on it – one big, one little ??? He was informed in no uncertain terms by Passiona (the wise …) that it had Hash historic relevance and had been made many years ago ! Shame on you El K !
We then retreated (figuratively speaking as we had defeated the enemy) into the sunset getting ready for next weeks run – (Its HASH NOSH – bring eating irons)
Pink Bits x

The Really Flat Run in HILL St Goosebury HILL

Well, there we have it … it was to be a FLAT run (not) and as DOSH and Wacuda were setting it, it must have to be a challenging one !
It was – but mostly for the runners … they disappeared and were not seen again for some time ! Walkers were warned by DOSH that there was a nasty bit of down and then a nasty bit up – BUT after that …. THE DRINK STOP ! (one for walkers and a separate one for runners) followed by a flat return … It was all that … and some …
We had a fairly significant uphill moment (sort of steps ?? tree roots ???) but once at the drink stop and enjoying the bubbly it was all forgotten (bit like having a baby ! … well not exactly …..) The trail was full of lovely spring flowers so we really enjoyed our walk. Not sure about the runners though, as will be explained later, as there was a lot of blood. A LOT OF BLOOD !!!
We all returned to the start and the circle began in earnest with the Hare’s getting the first down-downs. The RA was not too fussed this week so charges were mostly from the pack – the usual suspects but spectacularly – Scooby Doo got the lame duck award for copious amounts of blood (blood rule was applied ie. bandages and TLC from DOSH) Scooby was trying hard to stretch the leg so it wouldn’t seize up, but think it did !
Also, we had a visitor from Portugal, who was only here for a short time but was going to check out Hash Harriers in Porto, his home town.
All in all,we then had a few nibblies and finished off our refreshments. Then we set off back into the early evening … 5 pm start was a success with everyone turning up on time … even Skimpy and Co.
Pink Bits xxx

Ghosts, Ghouls & Witches ….. OOOOO !

So began the Halloween version of Hills Hash this year … set by Skippy from the local cemetery ! We were all assembled in ghoulish attire (some more than others !) and waited for instructions. Most of the pack had made an effort and were resplendent in stuff but, those who weren’t, had attire inflicted on them by Leapfrog or Pink Bits (who both, always, have surplus costumes)
Anyway, the Hare gave concise instructions that were not complete (as if ….. ) and sent us on our way. He did mention a drink stop so we were gung-ho !
The run and walk veered off from each other but not too far as runners heard the horn now and then  … There was a bit of confusion for walkers with a sign saying SW or LW  ….. so some took the LW and others (knowing by intuition where the drink stop was going to be … !) took the SW. Funnily enough, the pack converged at the Leapfrog/Passiona’s place for the welcome cooling beverages.
Back in the circle, we had lots of laughs with the charges given to the Hare, Franger. visitor D-Cell, Skimpy & anyone else that made eye contact with stand-in RA Passiona !
We ended the circle with our Hash song …. not very well … but we will work on it !
Till next week ….. AT 5 PM – at 5 PM – at 5 PM
See you then
Pink Bits x

Rain Stopped Play ….. !

Well, not exactly but it was a ferocious weather day and P M Had some significant challenges all day whilst (good old fashioned word … !) setting the run, Lets face it, when you go to the effort of setting a run and the rain wrecks your work,  it is a bit annoying. Still, with cheerful snigger, PM set the pack off in various directions, assuring all that it was a short run. Yeah ……. right ……. It is PM we are talking about !
Walkers went up a GENTLE slope, while runners JUST WENT UP A BIG BLOODY HILL ….. didn’t they Franger ? No drink stop and 40 minutes later we were all back (or so we thought ….. )
A message from the Safety Committee : PLEEZE contact someone (usually Pink Bits … self appointed Health and Safety Occifer) then we knows – you is safe an all that ! Taking photos of fab fluffy ferns is OK but  …. lets have a call to alert us of your quirks !
Needless to say, (but I will)  everyone was back in the normal 24 hours (!) and it was a great run, despite the hurdles.
Also, added bonus, was Light My Fire’s great Hash Nosh – Thai Green curry and Pink Bits version of Birthday cake (chocolates)
On – On
P B x

A Very Hashy Breakfast !

In a departure from the usual Hash run, we met at the Weir Rose Garden for a breakfast eggstravaganza ! Slightly dazed and confused, as it was morning, the usual suspects assembled in raincoats and all manner of wet weather gear as it was, lets say, damp, wet & windy as heck !
In a brief moment of sunshine (*its picking up*  says Leapfrog !?) we were given run instructions.  Of course the trail had been well and truly washed away but being the confident Hare’s that they are, Leapfrog/Passiona  set us off …..Go that way >>>>>>>>> sort of ……..
So the runners, grimacing as it started to drizzle, set of at the usual cracking pace (run fast in rain = less wet)  while walkers tramped up the slight hill and disappeared !
Meanwhile, the grand breakfast preparations were going full steam ahead…. well when I say full steam, I mean half steam as only one of the BBQ plates were working. Drat ! …… Then the invasion of the body(bun) snatchers…..oops I mean …magpies, parrots and ravens began in earnest ! Keeping them away was a full time job. Jousting with umbrellas worked for a while …
When the pack returned, we decided to have a progressive breakfast, moving from one set of BBQ’s to another. This in itself was quite hazardous (Hashing is dangerous !) as Passiona would confirm .. bun in beak of maggie ! It was a funny moment … seriously !
We decided to hold over the circle & charges till next week even though the illustrious RA had returned from her secret RA business. Too cold/damp/wet
No-one went home hungry at least ! There was even hot coffee …..
On – On
Pink Bits x

The Messing of the Dogs …….

Hashers were congregating on Darlington Oval’s “doggie paradise” patch. The weather was good, the company was jovial and the dogs were ….everywhere !
The hares, Trainwreck & Shagged Out, went to a lot of trouble to make sure we would be entertained and could follow a well marked trail.
Runners and walkers set off in opposite directions and soon enjoyed a bush track with wildflowers aplenty. Being in D’ton, we were soon aware that there were a few hills (?) but nothing too complicated for walkers at least ! It is getting a little warmer so those uphill treks are starting to bring on a light sweat but what about the flies … they were about in force (was it something to do with the dogs ?) and sticky.
Back at the start (walkers came back first) some of us investigated the *doggie memorial*  stump across the oval. Ahhh !
Once the runners staggered back on wobbly legs and had partaken of some refreshment, the circle was called and the charges flew thick and fast. As the RA is still absent (at a special retreat for RA’s …. nudge nudge … wink wink…) the stand-in, Dripper,  inflicted down-downs, some well deserved and some not so well deserved to all and sundry (what about those pesky other dogs I say …. charge their owners for too much fun …)
All in all, it was a great run with care and attention to detail. Just missing a drink stop ….
On – On
Pink Bits  x

The Unimaginably Non-Confusing and Potentially Almost Run !

To start with, this was Skimpy’s run and he was only a Co-Hare as other valiant Hashers stepped in to *normalise* the trail.
We gathered just down the road from the abode of the Skipsters and soon found we were many. (not everyone gets nervous when Skimpy is Hare)
Instructions, (Oh Heavens above …) were actually from the trail setters so we had a decent idea of where we were going and what sort of trail to look for, as opposed the windmill arm actions of Skimpy !
Runners and walkers set off in opposite directions but into some delightful bush complete with wildflowers and BIG roos (one flashed across our walk and was almost chased by a few Hash dogs !) It was a great walk but, so I heard, not so fantastic a run … a bit of a shemozzle to be exact with false trails being false and checks being circles …..
Meanwhile we all met at the drink stop, which was a moving feast, stopping  like an ice-cream van … whenever you waved.
Most of the pack followed the runners back so there was a log crossing and some obstacles, but we all ended up back at the start with no losses.
Once the circle was called,  the charges were thick and fast for the Hares, moving on to Virgin Runner (welcome … both of you !) long time no-sees and returnees. It was a lot of work for the Monk who had to charge himself at one point as did Trainwreck, who was just missing out !
Great day followed by a beacon lit to alert low flying aircraft that could have almost melted the fuselage. Certainly warmed the cockles of the Hashers who stood too close.
P. B. x